Vikings

When I was a boy I loved Vikings. I watched films about the. I imagined being the. There is one film with Kirk Douglas. He is the baddie. He is defeated in a fight and lays dying in the final scene. He knows it is the end. All he he wants is to die with his sword in his hand. Tony Curtis, who has every reason to hate him, hands him his sword. He dies.

I want a Viking death. I want to die with my sword in my hand. If it comes to it I will choose this over more of this life mangling medicine. This poison. At least I could go peacefully. At least I could go on my terms.

Friends

A true friend will be with you in both good and bad times. But it is in the bad times when you find out who your real friends are. I have had lifelong friends, since school friends,  who I told about my problems and never heard from again. I have had friends who I have seen once in the bluest of moons, who, as soon as they found out I was in trouble,  beat a path  straight to my door. I try not to be bitter about those that don’t stay the distance. I can’t know how I would react in similar circumstances. Plus, I have no strength for negative feelings. They only drain me of what little positive energy I have.

But friends do help. Knowing they are there. Knowing they believe in me. Knowing they understand what is wrong helps me stay on my feet. I salute you all.